Positions

Walking around, leaning against your partner or the wall, and rocking your pelvis will probably feel much more comfortable than lying on your back in bed. There are also certain positions that you will find more comfortable than others, because these will relieve the pressure on your back.

Massage

This is a wonderful way of getting reassurance from your partner while relieving discomfort, whether you’re lying, standing or squatting. It can be particularly relieving if you have backache during labour, which most women do, or if you suffer from a backache labour.

TENS

(Trans-cutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation) Pain impulses conducted by nerves are blocked by an electric current, which also stimulates the production of endorphins. A battery-powered stimulator is connected by wires to electrodes that are placed on either side of the spine. You then use a handset to regulate the amount of stimulation and thus pain relief that you receive.

Visualizing

Creating images in your mind can be a very effective way of calming fear and reducing pain. As your contraction begins, imagine something that you find particularly soothing, for example, warm, bright sunshine. Contractions in the first stage are opening the cervix and you may find it helpful to think of the image of a bud of your favorite flower opening slowly, petal by petal. Thoughts of waves are also very comforting, the flow of the waves matching each contraction as it increases in intensity, peaks and dies away.

Water

Lying in warm water can be very relaxing and soothing because the water renders you virtually weightless and this brings relief between contractions. For these reasons, birthing pools are used by some mothers under supervision.

Sounds

You can help to diffuse the pain and anxiety of your labour by vocalizing in the way you feel is most helpful. Sighing, moaning, groaning and grunting are all ways of releasing tension, and you shouldn’t be inhibited, or worry about disturbing others.

Many women find that listening to music is very effective. Your birth assistant can play different pieces on a cassette recorder depending on how you are feeling.

Hypnosis

This isn’t something that you should try on a whim, since you need to respond to hypnosis very easily. Women who can go into a deep trance have been able to have a forceps delivery, stitches or Caesarean without feeling pain. A period of practice sessions is advisable, so that both you and your hypnotist are completely familiar with what you have to do during the birth.

Acupuncture

You should only opt for this method if you have already found that it can relieve pain in other situations. In addition, your acupuncturist must be familiar with labour and delivery. This may not stop you feeling any pain at all, but it will certainly reduce it, and also helps prevent nausea.

UNDERSTANDING YOUR ROLE

Like many partners, you may be nervous or worry about feeling squeamish, or being inadequate at offering sufficient support. You can help combat this by prepar­ing yourself in advance. It s important that you know as much as possible so that you can effectively help the mother meet the physical and emotional demands of labour. At the antenatal classes there will be demonstra­tions to describe the onset of labour and the effect of contractions, and you will be taught techniques for helping her relax.

If it’s going to be a hospital birth, visit the labour and delivery rooms with her and introduce yourself to her hospital attendants so you wont feel like an outside when the time comes. If the birth is to be at home, find out what will be expected of you.

HOW TO HELP DURING LABOUR

You may have a very active role throughout the labour and birth, but sometimes your presence is all the mother needs. Make sure you are familiar with her birth plan and any alternative version. You need to be aware of her wishes in order to speak on her behalf during labour if necessary.

Use your intuition

You need to judge the situation, observing your partner’s moods and fitting in. Alternatively, she may need a great deal of verbal or physical encour­agement, or to be distracted by music or talking.

Provide emotional support

Stay as intimate as possible using loving words, and keep your movements slow, quiet and steady. Always be positive: offer praise, never criticism. If she wants to hear your voice, constantly tell her how well she is doing (how far dilated), suggest how she can relax herself, tell her what other people such as the midwife are doing to help her, and what will soon happen.

Also, help her to see how much she has achieved already – its easy for her to be overwhelmed by how far she thinks she has to go. Massage and stroke her slowly, but if she just wants to hold your hand, you can offer encouragement by using facial expressions and lots of eye contact.

Combat fatigue

Before labour, remind her to rest as much as possible, particularly if she seems to spend a lot of energy cleaning during the “nesting” period. If she has a long, tiring labour, try to help her relax between contractions to conserve her energy for the second stage. If she’s not feeling nauseous, provide her with as much refreshment as she wants (see also p. 32). She will probably find that having her face wiped is very soothing.

Help her cope with pain

It’s hard to see someone you care about in pain, but try not to reveal your anxiety because she may become discouraged. On the other hand, don’t discredit her suffering. Don’t let her feel embarrassed about expressing her discomfort – encourage her to be as uninhibited as possible. Try not to be upset if she becomes critical or aggressive – this often happens when the pain is very intense.

Assist with breathing

You will probably have practiced this during antenatal classes, but allow her to follow her own rhythm. If she seems to lose control, slowly guide her through the pattern until she can carry on alone. Be prepared to adapt – very few people follow exactly what they practiced at antenatal classes.

Women at high risk, and those women with an existing condition such as diabetes or having a Rhesus negative blood group, are carefully monitored so that the baby’s welfare is never in jeopardy.

You will attend an antenatal clinic at either the hospital where you will have your baby or at your doctor’s surgery. Most of the women attend once a month or so up until 7 months of pregnancy, every two weeks up to 9 months of pregnancy, and then once a week for the last month.

You will need to attend mo/e frequently if any complications develop, such as your expecting more than one baby, if you have a pre-existing medical condition, or if you are at risk.

Attending an antenatal clinic in a hospital can be intimidating and frustrating: there may be a large number of staff coming and going, and you may be kept waiting for some time. Many women describe it as a cattle market. Negative feelings can be made much worse by the discontinuity of care — it’s quite possible to see different nurses and doctors at every visit. Much of this can be avoided if you opt for shared care, a GP unit, or the “domino” system where you mainly see your doctor or your midwife for check-ups, with occasional visits to the hospital antenatal clinic.

When you go, try to make the best of your time at the antenatal clinic by taking along something to read or to do, and some food and drink just in case the food trolley doesn’t come by while you are there. Take a friend or your partner with you for company and moral support.

Ideally, your partner should attend at least one antenatal clinic with you so that he is familiar with what you go through and can sympathize. He can also have his questions answered and, most importantly, give you moral support. If you already have young children, arrange for them to be looked after if at all possible because they can be quite a handful in a confined space with little to interest them.

On your first visit to the antenatal clinic, you will be asked various questions on the following subjects:

- Your personal details and circumstances including age, marital status, next of kin and religion.

- Childhood illnesses or serious illnesses you have had.

- Serious illnesses that run in your family or in your partners family

- Whether there are twins in your family

- What symptoms of pregnancy you have, and the state of your general health.

- Details of previous births, pregnancies or problems in conceiving.

- Whether you are taking any prescription medication or whether you suffer from any allergies.

- your menstrual history — when you started, how long your average cycle is, how many days you bleed, and the date of your last menstrual period (IMP).

- From the above information, your estimated delivery date (EDD) will be calculated.